In an interview with Business Insider, Robbins explains that it’s important how we talk to our kids, explaining that the key is “don’t tell them how perfect they are, how beautiful they are, how smart they are, how unique and special they are.”

Robbins instead states that praising their effort, their “persistence, determination, constantly flexing your approach,” to matters is what parents should be doing.

This leads kids to realize that the harder you work for something, the more attainable it can be, hence allowing them to realize that growth is possible.